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You Might Be A Redneck When ... (Day 228) Scratchies!!! I almost never buy a lottery ticket (unless the pot is huge like last night - $250million) and I never buy instant scratch tickets (well … one time now I guess); I would rather spend my money on more worthwhile pursuits like $5 lattes at Starbuck’s [insert chuckle here]. I also realize that scratchies are a losing proposition, unlike the woodland folk that I inevitably get behind at the local market who treat their daily scratch ticket ritual like they are doing crack. A sample workflow: (1) Scrape up money and head to store; (2) Spend entire amount on scratch tickets; (3) Borrow penny from dish on counter; (4) Stand directly outside door of store and scratch tickets; (5) Feel lucky that you won back portion of the initial outlay; (6) Redeem for more tickets; (7) Stand at register and hold up line while scratching ticket(s); (8) If winner, goto step 6, otherwise goto step 9; (9) Walk home empty handed; Footnote: I fully expected a $250 million return on the above tickets but won $2 on Haunted Fortune. I am asking for my “winnings” in cash. To read ‘You Might Be a Redneck’ series disclaimers, click here. (2009-08-20 5:24pm)
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